We are excited to share a podcast episode with hosts Emma and Fin from Normalizing Non-Monogamy At the beginning of episode 93, they mention their visit to Oasis Aqualounge, during Halloween weekend (October 26, 2019). We invite you to listen to great information and interviews with non-monogamous couples across the spectrum and across North America.
Connect with our sex-positive community and check out our upcoming Polyamory Matchmatching parties, with the next event held on Sunday December 22/2019.
Embarking on a
journey of sexual expression can be exciting and magical; opening up yourself
to new experiences and fulfilling carnal fantasies can offer a thrill unlike
any other. Making a
conscious decision to explore and evolve as a sexual being can result in
learning more about one’s physical body, needs, desires, communication style
and inner spirit.
For women in
particular, this passage can also offer an empowering opportunity to break
through social norms and to reclaim one’s sexual identity, outside of the male
mainstream society rarely provides women the tools in which to navigate
sexuality in a healthy and galvanizing way. Women are seen as either having sex
or not having sex, when in reality, sexuality is far more holistic than just
the immediate, physical act.
There is often
a harmful narrative associated with this dichotomy; women who have multiple,
sexual partners are often referred to as ‘sluts,’ and women who are more
inhibited are considered ‘uptight,’ or ‘frigid.’
What is a woman
to do, when faced with judgement and misunderstanding? Personally, I say screw
it and just screw; in whatever way feels right to you. You owe it to yourself
to live a fulfilling and pleasurable life. Be your own example of what sexual
empowerment can look like.
Reclaiming The Word ‘Slut’
The word ‘slut’
has long been used to shame and disempower women who enjoy a varied sex life,
especially women who choose on their own terms. However, this word was not
always in reference to sexuality.
magazine-The Daily Beast-quotes the first definition of slut found in the
Oxford English Dictionary is that of “a woman of
dirty, slovenly, or untidy habits or appearance; a foul slattern… (By) the 20th century,
we seemed to have ditched the definition of ‘bad housekeeper’ and replaced it
with the meaning we have now: a woman of loose morals, or, as some would have
it, “a woman with the morals of a man.”
am not sure about you but being defined as a bad housecleaner and as someone
who embodies the strength and autonomy that has been historically reserved only
for men sounds pretty good to me! Much
has been written about reclaiming words that server to hurt us and I find that
when I dissect a meaning and turn it on its head, it no longer has power over
me. Unapologetic SlutWalk advocate Amber Rose
quotes in her essay; …the term slut never
seemed to go away—in fact, I began to realize that I’d be called a slut whether
I behaved according to other people’s standards or not.”
In rediscovering my own sexual freedom, I decided to
reclaim the word ‘slut,’ and to use it to my advantage. If you have a word that
seems to own your spirit, I suggest facing it head-on and taking it back for yourself. One should also be mindful of how such words
permeate our language and our (sometimes subconscious) judgement. If you seek
encouragement from other women and/or your peers, set the example and become
the support that you wish to receive.
Mainstream society does not create a safe space for
women to share or explore fantasies that are considered ‘taboo.’ By these, I mean sexual activities such as
(consensual) gang bangs, BDSM play, Bukkake and/or sex with strangers (with no
intent to create a connection or build a relationship). As women, we are taught
to shun what turns us on and what is inside of ourselves, particularly if it is
That is why I am constantly inspired by the courage and
liberation found within my sex-positive community. I am enamored by women who
embrace their desires because it sets a positive example and in turn, helps to
strengthen the community.
A wonderful example can be found at Oasis Aqualounge, via such events as ‘Down To Fuck, and ‘Bukkake Night In Canada.’ Over the years, the numbers of women who attend these events has grown exponentially. To me, this proves that a) women are truly drawn to these concepts and want to participate on their own terms and b) Oasis Aqualounge has created a culture that serves to encourage and support a women’s right to express herself, without judgement.
If there is a particular fantasy that you want to explore, I encourage you to learn more about it and to find a tribe that will support you along the way. Connect with your peers and ask questions. Join lifestyle sites like SDC where you can navigate through various forums and articles.
The road traveled towards an empowering, sexual journey will be paved with excitement, vulnerability and lust. In expressing your authentic sexual self, seek out friends and/or lovers that will support you. While mainstream society may never understand or accept you, there are incredible, sex-positive communities that will help you to navigate all of the nuances. Visit your favorite sex club or check out online forums and keep in mind that whatever you feel or desire is valid. You owe yourself the gift of pleasure and happiness.
https://i2.wp.com/oasisaqualounge.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Fatima-hot-tub.jpg?fit=4288%2C2848&ssl=128484288oasishttps://oasisaqualounge.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Oasis-logo-on-white-bitmap-300x172.jpgoasis2019-11-01 07:26:402019-11-01 07:26:42Embracing Your Inner Slut; Women's Sexual Empowerment
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