For the most part and to varying degrees, we are sexual beings who crave touch and intimacy. If you have ever been to Oasis Aqualounge, you know that we strive to provide our members with an upscale, water-themed, liberated venue in which to explore and express their sexual fantasies and desires.
This article features the opinions of three experts; Dr. Jessica Justman, Dr. Carlos Rodriguez and Dr. Julia Marcus. Check out advice on possibilities, alternatives and risks of sexual intimacy during COVID-19.
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If you live in
Canada, you know that the harsh, winter season can freeze our libidos. Snow storms, layered
clothing and a lack of daylight
can all contribute to us feeling less interested in sex. But eventually, Mother Nature warms up and the
seasons change; as the ground starts to thaw, so do our desires.
The phrase ‘spring fever’ seems to evoke
a free-spirited sense of warmth and excitement. For me, the beginning of the spring season is like a
charge of new energy and it seems to correlate with the increase of light in
the sky. As the clocks ‘spring forward,’ our sex lives also seem to ‘spring ahead.’ But how exactly does the increase of daylight effect our libidos?
brighter skies and sunshine
have an impact on hormone production; specifically, melatonin and testosterone.
Melatonin is usually produced in the body at night and/or when the sun goes
down and darkness occurs. Melatonin can inhibit our libidos and is considered to a be natural
fertility suppressant. According to a
New York Times article, a study conducted by Dr. Alfred Lewy, a research psychiatrist, showed that
exposure to bright light can shut down the production of melatonin in some
On the other hand, testosterone is a hormone that increases sexual desire, particularly in men. A study conducted by The Medical University Of Graz found that exposure to sunlight created a surge in testosterone production, deeming ‘sunlight as a natural aphrodisiac.’ Aly Dilks’ a sexual health expert says “…in terms of the chemicals it stimulates, testosterone is the one most responsible for our sex drive and studies show that the sun is a great factor in its production.”
Exposure to sunlight also helps manufacture vitamin D in the body, which correlates to the production of oestrogen; a hormone found in women, which is responsible for sex drive and maintaining the health of the vagina wall. Psychiatrist Ashwini Nadkarni, M.D. notes that “Sunlight has been shown to have an association with serotonin, a key neurotransmitter in the ability to experience pleasure.” In short, exposure to more daylight results in a chemical reaction in our bodies that in turn, affects our sex drive.
Aside from this natural phenomenon, there are other factors that contribute to us wanting to take it off and get it on, in both the spring and summer. The warmer weather leads us to shed our clothing; revealing more exposed skin. The fresh, outdoor air invigorates our spirits and boosts our confidence. We come out of winter hibernation, more eager to socialize and connect with one another. Certain seasonal foods that can help boost libido are more readily available to us. In short, as the days become brighter and longer, our sex drives become stronger!
How can we channel all of this newfound, erotic energy? If your schedule permits, I suggest taking advantage of the natural daylight and planning some ‘afternoon delight’ with your lover(s). Add some spice to your sex life with a sensual, outdoor picnic or sneak away to a secluded park or beach area. Take an extended lunch break with your partner and enjoy a passionate quickie.
If your city
has an on-premise, sex club, check their business hours to see if they are open
during the day. Some clubs offer Sunday hours for afternoon delight. Others,
like Oasis Aqualounge, located in Toronto, is open from 11am-3am, seven days a
week and provides the perfect location for daytime play with plenty of sunlight and natural
vitamin D. Cool your revving libido
with a romp in the plush playrooms.
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Within our sexy communities
and on-premise venues, such as Oasis Aqualounge, you will often hear the phrase ‘sex-positive’ buzzing
around. It’s a great sounding term; light, affable and encouraging. It captures
more than just the physical act of sex; it encompasses all of the surrounding
areas of sexuality,
such as our attitudes
For many, this phrase
seems to lend permission to express ourselves and our desires; we slip it on
and hold its hand as we embark on a journey of sexual discovery. But aside from
the times when we want to engage in sex, what does ‘sex-positivity’ actually mean? This
article will examine the various aspects of this term; what it is and
what it is not.
To begin, ‘sex-positivity’
involves having an open attitude
and the sexuality
of others. A sex-positive
person should be able address the topic without feeling shame or disgust. While
this is easily achieved when exploring areas that are of personal interest, a sex-positive attitude extends itself
past personal preferences and embraces all topics with an objective sense of curiosity.
the notion of active consent.
It recognizes that active consent
goes beyond ‘no means no;’ it emphasizes that ‘only yes means yes’ and that
‘yes’ should be expressed before and throughout the duration play. Someone who
is sex-positive is accepting of activities that are safe and consensual and they are non-judgmental of
practices that may be different from their own. They also acknowledge that sex-positivity is inclusive
of all orientations and gender identities.
There is a
misconception that people who are sex-positive are void of boundaries; they want to try and like everything!
That is simply not true. We all have personal boundaries; There may be sexual activities that we are uncertain of
and/or curiosities that we may not be ready to try (or try yet). Sex-positivity
distinguishes between a personal boundary and a judgement call. You don’t
have to want to try everything but if you are indeed sex-positive, you make
space for those who like or who may want to experience something that you may
As much as we may enjoy
the act of sex and/or kink, there are times when we may not feel like being sexual-and
that’s ok! Sex-positivity
grants us the freedom to accept when our libidos are low; it does not take away
from our sexual identity and/or desire for our partner(s). However, feeling
entitled to sex (complaining, begging, etc.) and/or constantly sexually
objectifying others (yes, even your partner!) is not a sex-positive attitude.
Another fallacy is that sex-positivity can only be applied to people who are sexually active; those who are virgins, celibate and/or who identify as asexual are not included. True sex-positivity welcomes a diversity of expression and is inclusive of all identities. Sexual expression can also include masturbation, self-love and sexual-self-care. One does not always need a partner(s) in the room in order to express their sexuality.
The word ‘positive’
does suggest possessing a carefree attitude towards sex. However, there are many complexities
culture differences, past trauma and/or religious beliefs can add to the
wide-range of an individual’s emotions. Sex-positivity
appreciates the varied and sometimes contradictory nature of how we process our
experiences. Sex-positivity is not simple; it’s as diverse as we are.
Anyone can learn to be sex-positive. All it
takes is a willingness to keep an open mind that is free of judgement, an accepting attitude towards all
sexual identities and self-awareness when it comes to one’s own desires and boundaries. If you are interested in becoming more
submersed in sex-positive culture, connect with others who share those values
and allow your sexual self to flourish.
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