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Sexual Self-Care Series: Spotlight on Ivy Xantara

Meet Ivy Xantara; a certified life coach and yoga instructor. Learn how Ivy is coping with COVID-19 and isolation through self-love and sensuality.

By Fatima Mechtab

The global Coronavirus Pandemic has forever altered the course of humanity. How we have learned to cope with isolation, how we socialize, and our health and safety approaches have changed us personally, professionally, and economically. But how does this relate to sexuality? What will our new sexual normal look like? And particularly for those who have not had physical access to their partner(s), how does that impact sexual self-care when it comes to solo individuals?

These interviews will shine a spotlight on the views of those within our vast, sex-positive community. While we have all affected this universal phenomenon, it’s essential to capture the particular experiences and opinions of how people cope from day to day. From educators to artists to performers, the COVID-19 has put a unique strain on our sexual freedoms and expressions. Let’s explore how these individuals are approaching sexual-self care during a time of isolation.

Q: Introduce yourself; who are you, and what do you do?

A: My name is Ivy, and I dedicate my life to helping people through different avenues as a life coaching, mindfulness techniques, yoga, and other alternative methods. 

Q: How have you been coping with the COVID-19 crises? What are some ways you have been staying upbeat and positive?

A: I have been coping relatively well. I think it is integral to have certain things to keep a healthy mind and body, such as creating a schedule for yourself, movement through exercise /yoga, and mindfulness exercises. 

Meet Ivy Xantara; a certified life coach and yoga instructor. Learn how Ivy is coping with COVID-19 and isolation through self-love and sensuality.





Q: Tell me more about the idea of seducing/romancing oneself? Was this something you had considered before COVID-19? Or did it come to you during the outbreak?

A: This idea comes from a place of self-care. Allowing ourselves the time and space to love and appreciate our bodies. Spending time to figure out how each millimeter of skin feels like and what reactions come with it. Exploring sensations of the body. This was an idea that sparked around the topic of body dysmorphia and Ayurveda. A teacher of mine told me about oil applications used for several different reasons, one of them being to reconnect with yourself in a gentle, loving way. 

Q: What are some ways that people can practice self-love/self-sensuality while in self-isolation?

A: Taking long candlelit baths/gently and slowly applying oil or cream all over the body/taking the time to enjoy foreplay with yourself, making it last a very long time/tease/practice edging/getting “sexy” for yourself (lingerie, hair, make up).

Q: Why do you feel that this is important to practice?

A: Physical touch and intimacy is an important act of self-care. It is how most species on this planet communicate affection through touch and exploration. We are so used to looking for others to fulfill this for ourselves, swing right on tinder, hitting up that booty call at 2 am, yet we rarely give ourselves the time, space, patience, and care to do it for ourselves. Now that we all have the time to romance ourselves just like you would for a potential lover on a first intimate encounter do it for yourself. Be that person that makes you feel unbelievably sexy and whole. Discover your body. 

Q: In your opinion, will people continue down a path of self-reflection/self-love after the crises has ended? Or do you think people will go back to seeking outside validation?

A: I believe that the amount of time we will be in this position would actually be sufficient to create a significant difference within the habitual patterns we all have. Once we all wake up to self-love, when this is over, all there is left is integration, which will truly be beautiful to witness. Generally speaking, it takes 21 days to break a habit according to studies. We have a lot to look forward to. 

Meet Ivy Xantara; a certified life coach and yoga instructor. Learn how Ivy is coping with COVID-19 and isolation through self-love and sensuality.

Q: What is the one thing found in your home that is bringing you joy during isolation?

A: The time I’ve been given to focus on myself, the very thing I get distracted from in everyday life. 

Q: Where can our readers find out more about you and your services?

A: I do have a website that s currently up and running however still under construction. For now, you can find me on on YouTube at Embrace Your Highest Potential.

Fatima Mechtab is a professional freelance writer, event producer, content creator, and marketing maverick. She has been an active member of the sex-positive community for almost a decade, working as a community organizer within the LGBTQ+ sector. Her articles have been published on such sites as SDC.com and High Canada Magazine. She is currently a fiction ghostwriter for Foxon Publishing and a contributing writer for GrowthSpire.co

Sexual Self-Care Series: Spotlight on Tatyannah King-Sex Blogger

Tatyannah King is a sex blogger. Check out her interview on solo, sexual self care during the COVID-19 pandemic.

By: Fatima Mechtab

The global Coronavirus Pandemic has forever altered the course of humanity. How we have learned to cope with isolation, how we socialize, and our health and safety approaches have changed us on a personal, professional, and economic level. But how does this relate to sexuality? What will our new sexual normal look like? And particularly for those who have not had physical access to their partner(s), how does that impact sexual self-care when it comes to solo individuals?

These interviews will shine a spotlight on the views of those within our vast, sex-positive community. While we have all affected this universal phenomenon, it’s important to capture the particular experiences and opinions of how people are coping from day today. From educators to artists to performers, the COVID-19 has put a unique strain on our sexual freedoms and expressions. Let’s explore how these individuals are approaching sexual-self care during a time of isolation.

Q: Introduce yourself; who are you, and what do you do?

A: My name is Tatyannah King and I’m a virtual sexual wellness coach for Blex technologies, international speaker, a graduate student at Widener University studying sex therapy, and sex blogger for various digital platforms such as Swoon, The Odyssey’s only published content channel for dating & relationships, and tabú, a comprehensive website that advocates sexual and mental health. I’ve also been featured in popular sources like xoNecole, BUSTLE, and The Irish Independent. In between coaching, speaking at sex conferences throughout the world, and blogging, I also occasionally host in-home lingerie parties.

Q: How have you been coping with the COVID-19 crises? What are some ways you have been staying upbeat and positive? 

A: I’ve been doing the best I can, but I’m an extrovert, so naturally, I gain energy from going outside of my apartment and being surrounded by people. Now that COVID-19 has caused restrictions for being in public, I’ve focused on connecting with people via voice messages, Zoom, and Facetime. I used to hate using voice memos and any type of online communication with video, but now I appreciate it because they’re the closest options that feel like being with someone face to face. Also, this may sound nerdy, but take summer classes in my graduate program has helped me stay upbeat and positive. The dual program at Widener University in Social Work and Human Sexuality is very unique, and my attitude in class is different than it’s ever been in school before because what I am learning now is genuinely fun and relevant for my career goals to become a clinical sex therapist. 

Q:  What are some ways that people can practice self-love/self-sensuality while in self-isolation?

A: People can practice self-love/self-sensuality while in self-isolation by getting in touch with what truly makes them feel empowered. For me personally, there was a time during my junior year in undergrad where my friends and I were in a stressful time in our lives. It was near the end of the semester so many of us were getting ready for finals and figuring out how we wanted our futures to look after college. So naturally, we isolated ourselves to focus on our goals. One night my former roommate, a friend of ours, and I finally bonded and talked about how stressful our semester has gotten and then we randomly started gossiping about guys we used to consistently talk to and date. Suddenly we came to the realization that all three of us were involved with the same guy a few years before, and didn’t realize it at the time. However, instead of getting mad and down on ourselves, we decided to throw host lingerie parties and celebrate self-love/self-care. During the lingerie parties, our friends and I would dress up in robes and our best lingerie, do each other’s nails, take cute group pictures, do karaoke, and play games like “Never Have I Ever” and “Pin the Dick on the Dude.” It was the perfect example of embracing self-love because we were revitalizing ourselves by celebrating our bodies and sharing our favorite sex tips with each other, which also helped others figure out ideas of what they could potentially enjoy as well. Of course, a huge in-person party isn’t ideal under quarantine, but at least people have the option to do this virtually with their friends or even by themselves.

Q: Why do you feel that this is important to practice?

A: Self-love and self-sensuality are important to practice because they motivate you to make healthy choices in life. You begin to feel a sense of confidence and that translates to the empowerment you feel in multiple areas of your life.

Tatyannah King is a sex blogger. Check out her interview on solo, sexual self care during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Q: In your opinion, will people continue down a path of self-reflection/self-love after the crises has ended? Or do you think people will go back to seeking outside validation?

A: I definitely feel like people will take the path of self-reflection after this pandemic has ended. During times of crisis, it’s natural to fully examine your life and analyze your needs and desires because we never know when we won’t have access to certain things anymore, such as freely surrounding ourselves with others without being 6 feet apart. This pandemic has allowed me to reflect on how I need quality time with others and how I express communication through physical touch. I’d like to think that others have reflected on themselves as well and will continue to do so after the pandemic has ended.

Q: What is the one thing found in your home that is bringing you joy during isolation?

Honestly, “PET”, the pink clitoral sucker that I was gifted with by OTOUCH has been the best item in my home that has brought me joy during isolation. It’s a heating silicone massager that mimics a sucking motion. It’s the first time I’ve used a toy like this, and it’s definitely one of my favorites EVER, which is saying a lot because I have too many sex toys to count.

Q:  Where can our readers find out more about you and your services?

A: Your readers can find more about me and my services via Instagram and Twitter @taty_k_king

Fatima Mechtab is a professional freelance writer, event producer, content creator, and marketing maverick. She has been an active member of the sex-positive community for almost a decade and has worked as an organizer within the LGBTQ+ sector. Her articles have been published on such sites as SDC.com and High Canada Magazine, and she is currently a fiction ghostwriter for Foxon Publishing. 

Sexual Self-Care Series: Spotlight On Mocha Love

How has COVID-19 affected the sex-positive community in terms of sexual self-care during isolation?

By: Fatima Mechtab

The global Coronavirus Pandemic has forever altered the course of humanity. How we have learned to cope with isolation, how we socialize, and our health and safety approaches have changed us on a personal, professional, and economic level. But how does this relate to sexuality? What will our new sexual normal look like? And particularly for those who have not had physical access to their partner(s), how does that impact sexual self-care when it comes to solo individuals?

These interviews will shine a spotlight on the views of those within our vast, sex-positive community. While we have all affected this universal phenomenon, it’s important to capture the particular experiences and opinions of how people are coping from day today. From educators to artists to performers, the COVID-19 has put a unique strain on our sexual freedoms and expressions. Let’s explore how these individuals are approaching sexual-self care during a time of isolation.

Q: Introduce yourself; who are you, and what do you do?

A: Mocha is my nickname, I’m a Queer Black Femme, a multidisciplinary artist from Toronto Canada I live with invisible and chronic illness, I volunteer a lot of my time in community involvement where my main focus is on marginalized folks, Body Positivity, Sex Positivity, Burlesque, Race Relations, and Social Justice.

Q: How have you been coping with the COVID-19 crises?

A: I was in a state of shock for the first few weeks. I was concerned about my family. Living with Generalized Anxiety certainly doesn’t help my situation. I took a lot of time to rest in between keeping up with the headlines as it was exhausting, but I’ve grown a lot in the past few months.

How has COVID-19 affected the sex-positive community in terms of sexual self-care during isolation?



Q: What are some ways you have been staying upbeat and positive?

A: I have an upbeat disposition naturally, but it only went so far this, this was the first time I’ve experienced a global pandemic. My arts, burlesque, and Sex-positive Communities have been incredibly supportive; they came through in ways I could not have imagined. I learned that it was ok to be vulnerable and ask for help, that was a huge lesson for me. When I reached out, people offered to do grocery runs, offered emotional support, invited me to zoom meetings and parties. I picked up some healing modality courses which I can use well beyond COVID.

Q: What are some ways that people can practice self-love/self-sensuality while in self-isolation?

A: Times of crisis are often times of self-reflection and clearing away of old habits; it forced me to look at what was essential and prioritize. As for intimate relations and self-care, luckily, I had invested in some instruments of self-pleasure well before COVID. Yes, I said it! I don’t live with a partner, and I wasn’t going to risk going out to meet anyone either. I made my room Into my sanctuary, I made special baths for myself, and enjoyed my quiet times. I lit incense, used my oils. I romanced myself. I added meditation and Reiki to my practice. I spent more time in self-pleasure than usual. It was a good form of stress relief.

Q: Why do you feel that this is important to practice?

A: Self-care is necessary for my healing; it’s helped me to be aware of changes in my body, how I respond to touch, discover what feels right, and it lets me know if there is anything that needs special attention. I have no shame about self-pleasure, even though sexual shame was part of my upbringing. I encourage others to get in touch with themselves and be confident in their individuality.

Q: Will people continue down a path of self-reflection/self-love after the crises have ended? Or do you think people will go back to seeking outside validation?

A: I really hope people will continue to give themselves special care. I know the urge to connect physically with others is quite strong months into the pandemic; it is for me as well. Self-care and pleasure (speaking as someone who expresses herself sexually)is a vital part of my personal, spiritual, and emotional health and will continue even after people are reunited. I cannot connect to others to the full potential if I am not aligned with myself, and I want to have the best experiences I can. We shouldn’t solely rely on others to make us feel better; we should appreciate the gifts they bring to our lives and become better for it overall.

How has COVID-19 affected the sex-positive community in terms of sexual self-care during isolation?

Q: What is the one thing found in your home that is bringing you joy during isolation?

A: I would say music because it’s been my companion for whatever mood I may be in. I used a lot of meditation music and sound baths to help me sleep and upbeat music to lighten my mood.

Q: Where can our readers find out more about you and your services?

A: I have so many forms of expression that have helped me to grow. On Instagram and Twitter Burlesque @xmochalovex If you’re into the holistic side of things, meditation, crystal healing, and finding inspiration in nature, you can find me @mindfulwithmocha on Instagram.

Fatima Mechtab is a professional freelance writer, event producer, content creator, and marketing maverick. She has been an active member of the sex-positive community for almost a decade and has worked as an organizer within the LGBTQ+ sector. Her articles have been published on such sites as SDC.com and High Canada Magazine, and she is currently a fiction ghostwriter for Foxon Publishing.