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What Does Sex-Positivity Actually Mean?

What does sex-positivity actually mean? This article written by Marketing Director Fatima Mechtab from Oasis Aqualounge explores the attitudes, boundaries & active consent within this term.

By: Fatima Mechtab

Within our sexy communities and on-premise venues, such as Oasis Aqualounge, you will often hear the phrase ‘sex-positive’ buzzing around. It’s a great sounding term; light, affable and encouraging. It captures more than just the physical act of sex; it encompasses all of the surrounding areas of sexuality, such as our attitudes and perceptions. 

For many, this phrase seems to lend permission to express ourselves and our desires; we slip it on and hold its hand as we embark on a journey of sexual discovery. But aside from the times when we want to engage in sex, what does ‘sex-positivity’ actually mean? This article will examine the various aspects of this term; what it is and what it is not.

To begin, ‘sex-positivity’ involves having an open attitude towards sexuality and the sexuality of others. A sex-positive person should be able address the topic without feeling shame or disgust. While this is easily achieved when exploring areas that are of personal interest, a sex-positive attitude extends itself past personal preferences and embraces all topics with an objective sense of curiosity.

Sex-positivity embraces the notion of active consent. It recognizes that active consent goes beyond ‘no means no;’ it emphasizes that ‘only yes means yes’ and that ‘yes’ should be expressed before and throughout the duration play. Someone who is sex-positive is accepting of activities that are safe and consensual and they are non-judgmental of practices that may be different from their own. They also acknowledge that sex-positivity is inclusive of all orientations and gender identities.

What does sex-positivity actually mean? This article written by Marketing Director Fatima Mechtab from Oasis Aqualounge explores the attitudes, boundaries & active consent within this term.

There is a misconception that people who are sex-positive are void of boundaries; they want to try and like everything! That is simply not true. We all have personal boundaries; There may be sexual activities that we are uncertain of and/or curiosities that we may not be ready to try (or try yet). Sex-positivity distinguishes between a personal boundary and a judgement call.  You don’t have to want to try everything but if you are indeed sex-positive, you make space for those who like or who may want to experience something that you may not.

As much as we may enjoy the act of sex and/or kink, there are times when we may not feel like being sexual-and that’s ok! Sex-positivity grants us the freedom to accept when our libidos are low; it does not take away from our sexual identity and/or desire for our partner(s). However, feeling entitled to sex (complaining, begging, etc.) and/or constantly sexually objectifying others (yes, even your partner!) is not a sex-positive attitude.

Another fallacy is that sex-positivity can only be applied to people who are sexually active; those who are virgins, celibate and/or who identify as asexual are not included. True sex-positivity welcomes a diversity of expression and is inclusive of all identities. Sexual expression can also include masturbation, self-love and sexual-self-care. One does not always need a partner(s) in the room in order to express their sexuality.

What does sex-positivity actually mean? This article written by Marketing Director Fatima Mechtab from Oasis Aqualounge explores the attitudes, boundaries & active consent within this term.

The word ‘positive’ does suggest possessing a carefree attitude towards sex. However, there are many complexities surrounding sexuality; culture differences, past trauma and/or religious beliefs can add to the wide-range of an individual’s emotions.  Sex-positivity appreciates the varied and sometimes contradictory nature of how we process our experiences. Sex-positivity is not simple; it’s as diverse as we are.

Anyone can learn to be sex-positive. All it takes is a willingness to keep an open mind that is free of judgement, an accepting attitude towards all sexual identities and self-awareness when it comes to one’s own desires and boundaries.  If you are interested in becoming more submersed in sex-positive culture, connect with others who share those values and allow your sexual self to flourish.

Your First Visit To A Sex Club; Live From the Taboo Sex Show 2019

So you decided to take the plunge and visit a sex club; now what? Oasis Aqualounge founder Judy Kaye and Marketing Director Fatima Mechtab created a seminar on ‘Your First Visit To A Sex Club,’ which was presented at the Taboo Sex Show in November, 2019. This seminar provides great tips on how to make the most of your visit; from researching clubs to deciding on what to wear (or not!).

AquaFlirting & Booty Shaking; Go-Go Dancing At the Stag Shop

Our fun-loving, promotional team-the Oasis AquaFlirts-were found dancing in the display window of the Stag Shop; a popular sex toy store franchise, right here in Toronto. The AquaFlirts showed off some sexy Go-Go dancing moves on both Saturday August 24 and Saturday August 31 at the Yonge Street Stag Shop location

Oasis Aqualounge loves to pair with like-minded, retail stores that share our values of sex and body-positivity. We have a wonderful relationship with Stag Shop and other, similar businesses in Toronto and beyond. For more information about our events and how you can visit Oasis Aqualounge as a first time guest, check out our marketing material inside their store.

If you are a business that is looking to collaborate with us, we would love to hear from you! Feel free to contact info@oasisaqualounge.com, attention Miss F for more information. We offer cross promotion and a mutually beneficial arrangement between our clientele and yours!

The Oasis AquaFlirts love to get the party started! Catch these vibrant, brand ambassadors during Ryerson University’s Week Of Welcome from September 4-September 6. If you are interested to learn more about the team, contact info@oasisaqualounge.com attention Cece, for details.