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What Does Sex-Positivity Actually Mean?

What does sex-positivity actually mean? This article written by Marketing Director Fatima Mechtab from Oasis Aqualounge explores the attitudes, boundaries & active consent within this term.

By: Fatima Mechtab

Within our sexy communities and on-premise venues, such as Oasis Aqualounge, you will often hear the phrase ‘sex-positive’ buzzing around. It’s a great sounding term; light, affable and encouraging. It captures more than just the physical act of sex; it encompasses all of the surrounding areas of sexuality, such as our attitudes and perceptions. 

For many, this phrase seems to lend permission to express ourselves and our desires; we slip it on and hold its hand as we embark on a journey of sexual discovery. But aside from the times when we want to engage in sex, what does ‘sex-positivity’ actually mean? This article will examine the various aspects of this term; what it is and what it is not.

To begin, ‘sex-positivity’ involves having an open attitude towards sexuality and the sexuality of others. A sex-positive person should be able address the topic without feeling shame or disgust. While this is easily achieved when exploring areas that are of personal interest, a sex-positive attitude extends itself past personal preferences and embraces all topics with an objective sense of curiosity.

Sex-positivity embraces the notion of active consent. It recognizes that active consent goes beyond ‘no means no;’ it emphasizes that ‘only yes means yes’ and that ‘yes’ should be expressed before and throughout the duration play. Someone who is sex-positive is accepting of activities that are safe and consensual and they are non-judgmental of practices that may be different from their own. They also acknowledge that sex-positivity is inclusive of all orientations and gender identities.

What does sex-positivity actually mean? This article written by Marketing Director Fatima Mechtab from Oasis Aqualounge explores the attitudes, boundaries & active consent within this term.

There is a misconception that people who are sex-positive are void of boundaries; they want to try and like everything! That is simply not true. We all have personal boundaries; There may be sexual activities that we are uncertain of and/or curiosities that we may not be ready to try (or try yet). Sex-positivity distinguishes between a personal boundary and a judgement call.  You don’t have to want to try everything but if you are indeed sex-positive, you make space for those who like or who may want to experience something that you may not.

As much as we may enjoy the act of sex and/or kink, there are times when we may not feel like being sexual-and that’s ok! Sex-positivity grants us the freedom to accept when our libidos are low; it does not take away from our sexual identity and/or desire for our partner(s). However, feeling entitled to sex (complaining, begging, etc.) and/or constantly sexually objectifying others (yes, even your partner!) is not a sex-positive attitude.

Another fallacy is that sex-positivity can only be applied to people who are sexually active; those who are virgins, celibate and/or who identify as asexual are not included. True sex-positivity welcomes a diversity of expression and is inclusive of all identities. Sexual expression can also include masturbation, self-love and sexual-self-care. One does not always need a partner(s) in the room in order to express their sexuality.

What does sex-positivity actually mean? This article written by Marketing Director Fatima Mechtab from Oasis Aqualounge explores the attitudes, boundaries & active consent within this term.

The word ‘positive’ does suggest possessing a carefree attitude towards sex. However, there are many complexities surrounding sexuality; culture differences, past trauma and/or religious beliefs can add to the wide-range of an individual’s emotions.  Sex-positivity appreciates the varied and sometimes contradictory nature of how we process our experiences. Sex-positivity is not simple; it’s as diverse as we are.

Anyone can learn to be sex-positive. All it takes is a willingness to keep an open mind that is free of judgement, an accepting attitude towards all sexual identities and self-awareness when it comes to one’s own desires and boundaries.  If you are interested in becoming more submersed in sex-positive culture, connect with others who share those values and allow your sexual self to flourish.

Your First Visit To A Sex Club; Live From the Taboo Sex Show 2019

So you decided to take the plunge and visit a sex club; now what? Oasis Aqualounge founder Judy Kaye and Marketing Director Fatima Mechtab created a seminar on ‘Your First Visit To A Sex Club,’ which was presented at the Taboo Sex Show in November, 2019. This seminar provides great tips on how to make the most of your visit; from researching clubs to deciding on what to wear (or not!).

Annual Naked Polar Bare Dip: 2020

The Oasis Aqualounge community took their annual nude plunge into Lake Ontario to celebrate the first day of 2020.

On Wednesday January 1, the Oasis Aqualounge community participated in a Naked Polar Bare Dip to celebrate the first day of 2020. This annual tradition, which is held on the east end of Cherry Beach, has been going strong for the nine years.

One of the Oasis AquaFlirts leading the group to Cherry Beach for the annual Oasis Aqualounge Naked Polar Bare Dip to celebrate 2020.

Guests and members were welcome to meet us at the club to head down as a group to Cherry Beach. Others decided to meet us, directly on the beach. One of our Oasis AquaFlirts Rae lead the crowd to a perfect spot, where everyone stripped down, in order to take the nude plunge.

The Oasis Aqualounge community bared it all during the Naked Polar Bare Dip, to celebrate 2020.

The Naked Polar Bare Dip gathered about 20 people to Cherry Beach; it was a fun combination of community members and additional participants who were inspired by the activity and wanted to join in, on the fun.

Participants of the Oasis Aqualounge Naked Polar Bare Dip took the plunge into Cherry Beach to celebrate 2020

Following the dip, all who participated were treated to a 50% coupon towards discounted admission and were welcome back to spend the day at Oasis Aqualounge. The group was able to warm up in our heated pool, bubbly hot tub, dry sauna and plush playrooms.

We want to thank everyone who attended the Naked Polar Bare Dip. We wish you all a safe and sexy start to 2020!