Call me a perv (no, please-it’s a compliment!) but I love to be surrounded by the sweet cacophony of sex sounds. Luckily, as the Marketing Director for Oasis Aqualounge-a sex club located in the heart of downtown Toronto-I can indulge in aural pleasure, seven days a week, from 11am-3am.
Oasis Aqualounge embraces a sex-positive attitude, which means that the business “…promotes and embraces sexuality and sexual expression, with an emphasis on joy (and) consensual sex.” We assume a shame-free stance on sexual pleasure; healthy sexuality is for everyone and every body. We uphold and support ongoing, active consent between partners and we do not judge what brings someone physical and/or emotional joy.
Spending time inside sex club really opens your eyes (and ears) to what genuine pleasure looks, sounds and smells like; sexuality has the power to evoke all of the senses. But for some, vocalizing and/or hearing sexual gratification or alarming slaps and spanks during kink play can be intimidating.
Recently, a friend confided in me that their partner is sometimes overwhelmed by the sounds of her orgasms. Being the sexually progressive person that I am, I immediately judged the partner’s reaction as sex-negative and body shaming. Having an orgasm (or five) in front of your partner(s) is one of the most vulnerable states you can be in.
As an enthusiastic and vocal person myself, I don’t plan to scream out loud; it’s just what my body does, in response to feeling unbelievably amazing as a result of how my partner is touching or fucking me. I find vocal expression also helps to embrace the full-body power of the orgasm. Also, as a sex-positive woman who is nearing her mid-forties, I am unlearning my sexual shame; I am now a loud and proud cummer!
However, upon further examination, it’s easy to equate the shame around vocalizing pleasure to how mainstream society views sexuality, in general; particularly towards women. Mainstream images of sexuality are still quite narrow; thin, youthful bodies that embrace traditional femininity are favored as sexual beings. Sex is shown as easy-breezy, mess-free fun where everyone has the same type of ethereal, transcendent orgasm that is also kept within a controlled volume. Sheets stay white, wet spots are non-existent and no one ever farts, laughs, cries or gets a leg cramp. Yea, right.
Couples who are parents to young children may have developed a habit of having inhibited, quiet sex; no parent wants to wake up a sleeping child with their own sex noises. For couples looking to escape the restrictions of their family home, a visit to Oasis Aqualounge could offer a refreshing and liberating way to connect intimately as sexually, expressive adults.
It’s no wonder that sounds which deviate from soft sighs or gentle moans could be jarring to a person that has only ever been exposed to what is deemed ‘acceptable.’ Inside the walls of Oasis Aqualounge, I have heard screams, cackles, whoops, grunts, giggles, groans and a string of expletives used in only the most delicious way. I have also be privy to silent orgasms, soft orgasms, whispers and long, robust sighs.
I feel grateful to exist between the walls of Oasis Aqualounge where the vocalization of pleasure is encouraged and where healthy, authentic forms of intimacy and erotic expression flourish between consenting adults. For anyone who has ever been afraid of their own sex noises, I recommend listening to other people have sex. Not only does it normalize a basic human reaction, it could help you to get out of your own sexual shell.
A crescendo of orgasmic cries rising in climax is a beautiful and mighty sound. Find your own voice and join the choir found inside our sexually charged, clothing-optional and shame-free environment.
Marketing Director. Event Producer. Owner