What is Polyamory?

On July 23rd, Oasis Aqualounge will be hosting a Polyamory Speed Dating event, starting at 8pm.  The night will begin with an ‘Intro To Polyamory’ discussion for those who are curious to learn more about various styles of open relationships.  Our presenter has crafted an article below, in preparation for the event. Follow her on FB, Instagram and YouTube: @SpiritSexLab

What is polyamory you ask?

The literal translation of the word is “Loving Many”. Polyamory is a consensually open, alternative relationship lifestyle that allows for multiple romantic/sexual partners. A road less traveled…

Many people are happily monogamous. Others are content being single. Then there those who are asexual. We are all truly unique – this is the beauty of being a human… Embracing the authenticity, being true to yourself and your needs.


Most of us have been raised with the cultural expectations of meeting a soul mate, falling in love and living happily ever after while being monogamous throughout the length of the marriage. This approach works for some but, unfortunately, not for others.

The reality that many people face is that the divorce rates are 50-75%, 30-60% of married partners engage in infidelity and 50% of children suffer from divorce…

According to leading Belgian psychotherapist Esther Perel, the reason why the long term monogamy may not work for everyone (why sexuality suffers, and partners don’t connect as deeply as the time passes) is due to the opposing needs human beings have.


“Fire needs air. Desire needs space.” – Esther Perel

Our two opposing needs are – security/safety and ownership on one hand; and novelty, freedom and spontaneity on the other. The more accustomed we become to our partners, the more secure – the routine kicks in and we start taking each other for granted.

There are various ways, of course, in which this duality could be approached within a context of a monogamous relationship. However, since we’re currently focusing on Polyamory, here’s more information on how this alternative model works.


So what happens if you open a door to an alternative way of being…

  • Let’s say you’ve always wanted to connect with more than one partner – emotionally, sexually, mentally, spiritually
  • You felt compelled to have more love in your life, but wanted to do it in an honest and open way
  • You and your partner have different sexual interests that you’d like to explore separately
  • You want to bring new energy, passion and depth into your life…

Polyamory may help meet these needs. It may allow for more love, spice, novelty and depth. Not unlike other relationship models, polyamory will help you grow and learn more about yourself and this world. Become more self-confident and authentic.

As with any other relationship models, you may also encounter new challenges such as focusing closely on time management, communications, conflict resolution as well as managing your emotions.


Regardless of which relationship model you choose – it’s important to follow your inner voice and stay authentically aligned with who you are. The possibilities are infinite. Be yourself.