Embracing Your Inner Slut; Women’s Sexual Empowerment

Oasis Aqualounge Marketing Director/Event Producer talks about embracing your inner slut & women's sexual empowerment

Embarking on a journey of sexual expression can be exciting and magical; opening up yourself to new experiences and fulfilling carnal fantasies can offer a thrill unlike any other. Making a conscious decision to explore and evolve as a sexual being can result in learning more about one’s physical body, needs, desires, communication style and inner spirit. 

For women in particular, this passage can also offer an empowering opportunity to break through social norms and to reclaim one’s sexual identity, outside of the male gaze. Unfortunately, mainstream society rarely provides women the tools in which to navigate sexuality in a healthy and galvanizing way. Women are seen as either having sex or not having sex, when in reality, sexuality is far more holistic than just the immediate, physical act.

There is often a harmful narrative associated with this dichotomy; women who have multiple, sexual partners are often referred to as ‘sluts,’ and women who are more inhibited are considered ‘uptight,’ or ‘frigid.’ 

What is a woman to do, when faced with judgement and misunderstanding? Personally, I say screw it and just screw; in whatever way feels right to you. You owe it to yourself to live a fulfilling and pleasurable life. Be your own example of what sexual empowerment can look like.

Reclaiming The Word ‘Slut’

The word ‘slut’ has long been used to shame and disempower women who enjoy a varied sex life, especially women who choose on their own terms. However, this word was not always in reference to sexuality.

Online magazine-The Daily Beast-quotes the first definition of slut found in the Oxford English Dictionary is that of “a woman of dirty, slovenly, or untidy habits or appearance; a foul slattern… (By) the 20th century, we seemed to have ditched the definition of ‘bad housekeeper’ and replaced it with the meaning we have now: a woman of loose morals, or, as some would have it, “a woman with the morals of a man.” 

I am not sure about you but being defined as a bad housecleaner and as someone who embodies the strength and autonomy that has been historically reserved only for men sounds pretty good to me!  Much has been written about reclaiming words that server to hurt us and I find that when I dissect a meaning and turn it on its head, it no longer has power over me.   Unapologetic SlutWalk advocate Amber Rose quotes in her essay; …the term slut never seemed to go away—in fact, I began to realize that I’d be called a slut whether I behaved according to other people’s standards or not.” 

In rediscovering my own sexual freedom, I decided to reclaim the word ‘slut,’ and to use it to my advantage. If you have a word that seems to own your spirit, I suggest facing it head-on and taking it back for yourself.  One should also be mindful of how such words permeate our language and our (sometimes subconscious) judgement. If you seek encouragement from other women and/or your peers, set the example and become the support that you wish to receive.

Exploring Taboo Fantasies

Mainstream society does not create a safe space for women to share or explore fantasies that are considered ‘taboo.’  By these, I mean sexual activities such as (consensual) gang bangs, BDSM play, Bukkake and/or sex with strangers (with no intent to create a connection or build a relationship). As women, we are taught to shun what turns us on and what is inside of ourselves, particularly if it is self-serving.

That is why I am constantly inspired by the courage and liberation found within my sex-positive community. I am enamored by women who embrace their desires because it sets a positive example and in turn, helps to strengthen the community. 

A wonderful example can be found at Oasis Aqualounge, via such events as ‘Down To Fuck, and ‘Bukkake Night In Canada.’  Over the years, the numbers of women who attend these events has grown exponentially.  To me, this proves that a) women are truly drawn to these concepts and want to participate on their own terms and b) Oasis Aqualounge has created a culture that serves to encourage and support a women’s right to express herself, without judgement.

If there is a particular fantasy that you want to explore, I encourage you to learn more about it and to find a tribe that will support you along the way. Connect with your peers and ask questions.  Join lifestyle sites like SDC where you can navigate through various forums and articles.

The road traveled towards an empowering, sexual journey will be paved with excitement, vulnerability and lust. In expressing your authentic sexual self, seek out friends and/or lovers that will support you. While mainstream society may never understand or accept you, there are incredible, sex-positive communities that will help you to navigate all of the nuances.  Visit your favorite sex club or check out online forums and keep in mind that whatever you feel or desire is valid. You owe yourself the gift of pleasure and happiness.

Interview with Kate Maxx: Professional Nudist & Adult Entertainer

Oasis Aqualounge is a sexually-charged, water-themed adult playground that embraces a clothing-optional policy. We want our guests to feel sexy in their own skin and we encourage those who enjoy being naked to proudly flaunt and show off their bodies. Feeling comfortable and confident in one’s body is one step towards having a satisfying sex life.

Marketing Director/Event Producer Fatima Mechtab recently interviewed Kate Maxx; a professional nudist, model, exotic dancer, MC host, actor and on-air personality. As a featured entertainer, Kate travels to stages all over Canada. On October 29 and October 30, Kate Maxx will grace the Ballroom stage at Oasis Aqualounge for a special, double feature.

Adult entertainer Kate Maxx shoots a live porn on October 29 & gives lap dance lessons on October 30 at Oasis Aqualounge, Toronto.

Tell us a little more about you!  What are your favorite hobbies or interests?

I love to travel and see the world, experiencing different ways of life and seeing other cultures and nature around the world is one of my biggest passions. I also love to dance, whether it be freestyle or choreographed. Hanging out with my dog, riding horses, surfing, swimming, scuba diving and hiking are some other hobbies I enjoy and wish I do could more often. I’m really interested in marine life and helping to preserve it. My interests on the sexier side of life: I love visiting strip clubs in different cities (they’re different everywhery you go), watching a sexy show, visiting nude resorts and clubs and hanging out at nude beaches. I love trying out whatever is new in sex toys too! 

When did you first start to model nude? What was your first shoot like?

The literal moment I was of age to model nude I was doing it. My very first fully nude shoot was for a calendar called Asian Mystique. I wore these tie up black platform heels and a smile. They covered me in this special oily stuff that gave my skin this crazy shine. I was really nervous and of course found 100 things to hate about my looks and my body, but those insecurities went away once I started shooting. I remember thinking “maybe nude modeling IS for me, I feel surprisingly comfortable here naked with a stranger taking my picture” I was really proud when I saw that calendar for sale at the malls around Xmas time.

Adult entertainer Kate Maxx shoots a live porn on October 29 & gives lap dance lessons on October 30 at Oasis Aqualounge, Toronto.

What is your favorite part of being nude?

Clothes feel restricting, I always feel like I’m being choked or squished when i’m fully dressed. I just feel natural and free when i’m nude. I’m usually naked when I’m at my home. I’ve pretty much built my life around being naked as a performer, MC, and online personality! I also really do love that brand names don’t really exist when you’re living naked. People get too caught up in materials in my opinion. Plus the sun feels REALLY good on your body when you’re totally naked. Picking an outfit is pretty easy too.

Tell us about some of your upcoming projects.

There’s quite a few! A documentary series from the UK will be following me for 5 days to film my unconventional naked, swinging lifestyle. I will be doing feature shows on weekends at the Brass Rail (a gentleman’s club downtown Toronto) I’m super excited to be back at Brass, its where my career as a professional touring dancer all began. It’s a very special place to me and I’m always so happy to return. I will be MCing, hosting and teaching at Young Swingers Week, which is a week-long event at Hedonism in Negril Jamaica. I’ll be MCing all the contests from the nude pool as well as teaching my intro to lap dancing class and a couple seminars. When i get back I will be filming my very first porn shoot at Oasis Aqualounge. I’m so excited to do this’ I’m a huge exhibitionist, so this is such a thrilling experience! I will also be teaching a Halloween edition of my lap dance class at Oasis (as well). All of the behind the scenes from these events can be seen on my Snapchat and Onlyfans. I’m still trying to figure out my tour dates for the rest of the year but October is gonna be a really exciting month! 

Adult entertainer Kate Maxx shoots a live porn on October 29 & gives lap dance lessons on October 30 at Oasis Aqualounge, Toronto.

You are shooting a live porn film at Oasis Aqualounge on Tuesday October 29. What made you decide to do this? Are you nervous/excited? 

I’m feeling pretty excited to do this shoot! I think I’ll probably get more nervous the day of when I see people watching but really that’s part of the thrill for me too. I decided I wanted to do this because I’ve come to a point in my nude career that I am more willing to try new things. I’ve always loved porn and have quite a few friends in that industry that are great people that have offered some tips! 

In your opinion, do you feel that sex clubs like Oasis Aqualounge could be helpful to those looking to explore themselves? If so, why?

Absolutely. One of many things I love about Toronto is there really is something for everyone. Clubs like Oasis are one of those places that has a lot to offer for people who are looking to explore, whether it be being a nudist, voyeur or more. I think it is important for people to have a place to explore their sexuality, be comfortable nude or in lingerie and to have a place to learn more about themselves and sex. Visiting a club like Oasis is something I tell people they need to try at least once in their lifetime. 

What advice would you give to those who are interested in the adult industry?

Do your homework. Learn what you need to know about the industry you want to get into. Make sure you are comfortable with what comes with entering the adult industry. Be real with yourself about WHY you’re doing it. If you’re thinking it is just for some easy money, think again. 

Adult entertainer Kate Maxx shoots a live porn on October 29 & gives lap dance lessons on October 30 at Oasis Aqualounge, Toronto.

Name a favorite part(s) of your body and why?

My legs because they’re long, and really strong! And my nipples, they’re really sensitive and literally the smallest thing will get them excited. It’s one of the reasons why I never wear a bra! 

What is a belief that you live by, every day?

“Happy girls are the prettiest.”

 And one of my favorite quotes comes from actor Charlie Day:  “You cannot let a fear of failure, or a fear of comparison, or a fear of judgement, stop you from doing what’s going to make you great. You cannot succeed without this risk of failure. You cannot have a voice without the risk of criticism. And you cannot love without the risk of loss. You must go out and you must take these risks. None of it comes easy. And people will tell you to do what makes you happy, but a lot of these has been hard work, and I’m not always happy.”

I don’t think you should do just what makes you happy. I think you should do what makes you great. Do what’s uncomfortable, and scary, and hard but pays off in the long run.
Be willing to fail. Let yourselves fail. Fail in a place, in a way you would want to fail. Fail, pick yourself up, and fail again. Because without this struggle, what is your success anyway? This quote meant so much to me the first time I read it and the message has stuck with me since. 

Adult entertainer Kate Maxx shoots a live porn on October 29 & gives lap dance lessons on October 30 at Oasis Aqualounge, Toronto.

Save the dates and meet Kate Maxx in person on Tuesday October 29 and Wednesday October 30. Check out Kate’s podcast and follow her on social media via:  Facebook, OnlyFans, SnapchatInstagram and Twitter. If you are a proud, sexually-empowered entertainer and would like to be interviewed for the Oasis Aqualounge blog, please email info@oasisaqualounge.com, attention Fatima Mechtab

Unleash Your Sexual Super Powers; Halloween Costumes & Role Play

By: Fatima Mechtab

Pumpkin spice brings out the naughty and the nice! Of all of the holidays within the year, Halloween is the one occasion where it is not only acceptable to embrace your sultry, alter-ego, it is highly encouraged! 

In North America, we often associate Halloween as a children’ holiday but historically, other cultures celebrated Halloween as a spiritual and dangerous time when ghosts and the ‘living dead’ walked the earth, usually late at night.  Writer Emma McGowan noted in a 2017 Bustle Magazine article, ‘…the idea of Halloween being a holiday for children only emerged in the late 1800s, when the focus shifted from scary to fun, from superstitious to community-based.’

Spice up your relationship as a couple and enjoy dressing up in Halloween costumes; role play and unleash your exhibitionist side at Oasis Aqualounge

October 31 (and often, the days leading up to this date) marks a time where adults can transform themselves through creative costumes and live out their fantasies. It is a holiday that excludes stifling, social norms; especially when it comes to expressing one’s sexuality. Clothing that would otherwise be considered as ‘unacceptable’ is not applicable during Halloween and that can be very liberating. Often, people use this time of year to unleash their inner vixen, show off some skin and apply elaborate make-up in order to become a character that may have more freedom (sexual and/or otherwise), than in their own, everyday lives.

For many couples, Halloween is the sexiest holiday of the year and this is often due to the increase in confidence found through wearing a Halloween costume.  For some lovers, dressing up can also lead to role-playing in the bedroom-and beyond. This transformation creates a sense of anticipation and it can be equally as exciting to see your partner become the creature of fantasy.  One fun way to express solidarity is for a couple to plan a complimentary costume together and to bond over mutual creativity. For others, the ability to express individuality as separate characters can feel empowering and stimulating.


Spice up your relationship as a couple and enjoy dressing up in Halloween costumes; role play and unleash your exhibitionist side at Oasis Aqualounge

Dressing up in costume creates a sense of newness and an escape from the familiar routine that often develops within long-term relationships. Halloween allows couples to explore costumes, role-play and sexuality in a way that feels permissible, creating a sense of security while still opening a portal of exploration.

If you are a couple looking to spice up your Halloween this year, you may want to consider tapping into your exhibitionist side. Dress up, embody your character and employ your powers of seduction. Or attend a sexy, adult-themed Halloween party and watch other, costume-clad couples lose their inhibitions.  At Oasis Aqualounge, we celebrate ‘Halloweek,’ with parties happening daily from Saturday October 26 until Thursday October 31 (2019). Like many sexual adventure clubs, Oasis Aqualounge hosts an array costume contests, with prizes available in multiple categories. Dressing up in theme also makes for a great icebreaker. If you are a couple looking to meet like-minded guests, complimenting Halloween attire and/or swapping creative costume tips can make socializing in a sexually charged environment easy, fun and flirty.

Spice up your relationship as a couple and enjoy dressing up in Halloween costumes; role play and unleash your exhibitionist side at Oasis Aqualounge

Oasis Aqualounge loves to invite exhibitionist couples to perform for our Spectator Sex shows and Halloween season definitely encourages the use of props (aka: sex toys!) and costumes. A themed show can make it easier to transcend performance anxiety and makes for an engaging experience, for the voyeurs. The use of masks can also provide performers with an increased sense of freedom, through concealing one’s identity.

Halloween is an exciting season in which to explore different facets of your sexual persona.  We invite you to embrace your fantasies and show off your costumes at your favorite local club or private house party. Dress up for fun and/or undress to impress!

Celebrate ‘Halloweek’ at Oasis Aqualounge with parties on October 26, October 28 (student night), October 30 and October 31. For more information, please email: info@oasisaqualounge.com.