What is Polyamory?

On July 23rd, Oasis Aqualounge will be hosting a Polyamory Speed Dating event, starting at 8pm.  The night will begin with an ‘Intro To Polyamory’ discussion for those who are curious to learn more about various styles of open relationships.  Our presenter has crafted an article below, in preparation for the event. Follow her on FB, Instagram and YouTube: @SpiritSexLab

What is polyamory you ask?

The literal translation of the word is “Loving Many”. Polyamory is a consensually open, alternative relationship lifestyle that allows for multiple romantic/sexual partners. A road less traveled…

Many people are happily monogamous. Others are content being single. Then there those who are asexual. We are all truly unique – this is the beauty of being a human… Embracing the authenticity, being true to yourself and your needs.

MONOGAMY AND CULTURAL EXPECTATIONS

Most of us have been raised with the cultural expectations of meeting a soul mate, falling in love and living happily ever after while being monogamous throughout the length of the marriage. This approach works for some but, unfortunately, not for others.

The reality that many people face is that the divorce rates are 50-75%, 30-60% of married partners engage in infidelity and 50% of children suffer from divorce…

According to leading Belgian psychotherapist Esther Perel, the reason why the long term monogamy may not work for everyone (why sexuality suffers, and partners don’t connect as deeply as the time passes) is due to the opposing needs human beings have.

OPPOSING NEEDS

“Fire needs air. Desire needs space.” – Esther Perel

Our two opposing needs are – security/safety and ownership on one hand; and novelty, freedom and spontaneity on the other. The more accustomed we become to our partners, the more secure – the routine kicks in and we start taking each other for granted.

There are various ways, of course, in which this duality could be approached within a context of a monogamous relationship. However, since we’re currently focusing on Polyamory, here’s more information on how this alternative model works.

ALTERNATIVE MODEL

So what happens if you open a door to an alternative way of being…

  • Let’s say you’ve always wanted to connect with more than one partner – emotionally, sexually, mentally, spiritually
  • You felt compelled to have more love in your life, but wanted to do it in an honest and open way
  • You and your partner have different sexual interests that you’d like to explore separately
  • You want to bring new energy, passion and depth into your life…

Polyamory may help meet these needs. It may allow for more love, spice, novelty and depth. Not unlike other relationship models, polyamory will help you grow and learn more about yourself and this world. Become more self-confident and authentic.

As with any other relationship models, you may also encounter new challenges such as focusing closely on time management, communications, conflict resolution as well as managing your emotions.

ROAD TO AUTHENTICITY

Regardless of which relationship model you choose – it’s important to follow your inner voice and stay authentically aligned with who you are. The possibilities are infinite. Be yourself.

Suzy’ Sex Toy Review: Lelo Siri

I’d like to begin this toy review for the Lelo Siri by stating that this is easily my favorite vibrator to date!  I definitely intend on updating to the Siri 2 just because the Siri by Lelo is incredible. The packaging for Lelo products is always gorgeous which is  why I’m always s excited about a new Lelo toy.

This particular toy is primarily intended for clitoral stimulation. First impressions being, it is a very small and discreet egg shaped vibe that is visually very cute but also very soft to the touch with it’s phthalate-free silicone. Siri is very discreet in size not to mention very quiet as well for any of you out there where a quiet vibrator is a must.

Siri has a number of popular functions such as slow pulse, quick pulse, escalating pulse, decreasing pulsations as well as a steady vibration option with the ability to gradually increase or decrease intensity.  I am a bit of a Goldie-Locks when it comes to finding just the right intensity with a toy. Some are not enough, some are too much and then sometimes there is the toy that offers the perfect combination of the two. I find this perfect combination of intensities with low rumbling vibrations and high buzzy vibrations in the Siri. Siri is rechargeable and can last for up to approximately 4 hours so I do find it to be a very reliable toy. The shape of the toy is a huge plus for those of you that need to reach that exact spot that drives you crazy. The egg shape provides that slight point while still being soft and curved so that it still feels very comfortable.

The only con I can think of with Siri is that it’s not fully sumersible  in water. It’s not a toy that can be brought into the bath. I wouldn’t even risk bringing it into the shower  because the charging port does not have a seal on it and the buttons are exposed. This  leaves  space for water to get in and damage the toy. Just because some toys claim to be “waterproof” does not mean that they are. Bodily fluids? Sure! Submerged underwater? Bad idea. Sadly there are companies out there that will not honor the warranty on a toy with water damage even though they claimed it to be waterproof.

Always keep an eye when purchasing a toy to make sure that the charging port is sealed/covered and that the buttons for functions and speeds do not have cracks along the edges that water can get into. I’ve found that some of the best fully waterproof toys are 100% silicone meaning the entire exterior of the toy is silicone. If you don’t mind not being able to take your vibrator into the bath then Siri is a 10/10 score.  It is a must try if you’re seeking a cute, long lasting, small clitoral vibe. I’d highly recommend checking out Siri and Lelo’s selection at your local sex shop!

xo-Suzy

A Couple of Kinks: Our First Orgy

A Couple Of Kinks-Sexacapades & Sex Toy Reviews wrote a fantastic piece on their first orgy at Oasis Aqualounge. Check out this sexy adventure upon their first visit to the club.

If you are interested in sending your erotic writing or experiences at Oasis Aqualounge, please send your article to info@oasisaqualounge.com. We would be happy to feature the piece on our blog and in our weekly newsletter that reaches over 17K readers.